I just don't get it. Why is it that violence is used so easily in tv shows, movies, and games, especially when compared to sex. Parents think, "Oh yeah, it's fine if they're watching people shoot each other in the face with guns, slice each other open with knives, and torture each other with things I can't even think of that they use in, oh, say, the Saw series." Oh yeah, sure it's "bad," but eventually, it's viewed as okay, sometimes awesome, or cool, or nowadays, "epic."
But not... dare I say it? Sex! "Oh no," say most parents, "my kids can't see this. That girl's breasts are showing! This is very inappropriate! Oh, but here, instead, they can watch this movie where the whole plot is to kill, kill, and kill. Or maybe, play a video game where my child is the person shooting at everyone."
People, parents, please get this straight. One day, when your child grows up, sex will be okay. It will be acceptable. It'll even be encouraged if given the time. But killing someone will NEVER be okay! We should really think about what we're teaching our children when we allow them, encourage them, to watch, and sometimes play the role of, someone killing another person. To me, it seems as though we are teaching them we'd rather have them kill, or in other words, hate, rather than have sex, also known as "making LOVE."
Monday, December 28, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Brain Fart 3: The Non-Twin
My older sister. I sometimes just feel so jealous of her. I know it's stupid, but I sometimes feel like I'm being compared to her, and she is always better.
She is smarter. She can be sad she got an A- because she didn't study for her final. I'm glad I got a B+ because I studied so hard.
She's better at being a girl. She's better at fashion, hair, make up, skin care. That's my own fault for not really caring until now. But I still feel like it comes easier to her.
She has a better part time job. I worked at Target for the $8 minimum wage. I took this job because my mom and grandpa wanted me to get it as quickly as possible. She waits out until "rush week" for frats are over. She then is picky about her job. She scores a job at Hanspree and makes WAY for money than me.
Her personality is more likeable. I'm just not that into all the fads today. I don't know artists or even song names. Same with movie stars. Common sense and manners seem to come more easily to her than it does me. I'm socially awkward. She's popular. I always make some sort of social mistake.
She is just more liked. I may be the "well-behaved" one. But, that's ending soon since, hey, what can I say? I'm a teenage girl. Even then, while I'm well-behaved, she's the more passionate and affectionate one it seems. People just seem to like her. They see her faults and her mistakes, and like her more for it. It's because she has more character. I don't always know how to react to the parents' doting. So I seem cold and distant. Maybe I am. But she's always...warm. She seems to connect with the parents better than me.
I know this is lame. I shouldn't compare myself to her like this. She's my sister, and I love her, as I'm sure she loves me. I'm sure she can think of things I'm better at than her. I can probably think of a few things if I try. It just seems like the things that will get you places in life all come more easily to her. Which makes me sad.
but just sometimes.
She is smarter. She can be sad she got an A- because she didn't study for her final. I'm glad I got a B+ because I studied so hard.
She's better at being a girl. She's better at fashion, hair, make up, skin care. That's my own fault for not really caring until now. But I still feel like it comes easier to her.
She has a better part time job. I worked at Target for the $8 minimum wage. I took this job because my mom and grandpa wanted me to get it as quickly as possible. She waits out until "rush week" for frats are over. She then is picky about her job. She scores a job at Hanspree and makes WAY for money than me.
Her personality is more likeable. I'm just not that into all the fads today. I don't know artists or even song names. Same with movie stars. Common sense and manners seem to come more easily to her than it does me. I'm socially awkward. She's popular. I always make some sort of social mistake.
She is just more liked. I may be the "well-behaved" one. But, that's ending soon since, hey, what can I say? I'm a teenage girl. Even then, while I'm well-behaved, she's the more passionate and affectionate one it seems. People just seem to like her. They see her faults and her mistakes, and like her more for it. It's because she has more character. I don't always know how to react to the parents' doting. So I seem cold and distant. Maybe I am. But she's always...warm. She seems to connect with the parents better than me.
I know this is lame. I shouldn't compare myself to her like this. She's my sister, and I love her, as I'm sure she loves me. I'm sure she can think of things I'm better at than her. I can probably think of a few things if I try. It just seems like the things that will get you places in life all come more easily to her. Which makes me sad.
but just sometimes.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Brain Fart 2: Giving the Benefit of a Doubt
It's a great thing. It can prevent misunderstandings. It is something you hope others to give you. It is something you should give to others. However, it is not the main point of this blog, it's just that I couldn't think of a better title.
A few weeks ago, my friend Jay and I were chatting online. I had said something about him (I don't remember what by now) that was not meant to be offensive. However, before I had the chance to elaborate, he automatically said something along the lines of, "Really? Come on, I thought you'd know me better by now." At the time, I just scurried to clarify so as not to make him mad. The same exact thing happened about a week later. Then, it started occurring to me, "Really? Come on, I thought you'd know ME better by now." He keeps getting mad at me because he thinks I'm assuming the worst of him. But, it seems like HE's the one assuming the worst of ME.
Then, tonight, I was talking to Louie* online. I had told him that if I had had the choice back then, I probably would have chosen to not have liked him. He got all in a puff thinking I was saying he was a bad guy. When in reality, I only meant that it was a bad time for me to pursue him, seeing as he was dealing with other things. After clarifying, I jokingly typed, "jeez, Louie*, don't you know me better than that?" He apologized immediately, but it still kind of bugs me that he so easily thought I would "paint him in a bad light." I've always been a pretty good friend to him. How could he so easily think I'm such a bad friend? I was debating whether I should be openly angry with him about it. But something seemed wrong with doing that, so I decided to just sign off and take a shower.
While I was taking a shower, I thought it all through. Sure, it kind of hurt me to know that Louie could so easily see me as a bad friend. So could Jay. They automatically assumed the worst of what I was saying, they didn't give me the benefit of a doubt. However, after taking a step back, I realized that I could be doing the same thing they are, and assuming the worst of them. So I took a farther step back, and realized that Louie might not have been assuming the worst of me personally, but rather, it's just that he's had problems of people painting him in a bad light, so he's gotten sensitive to anything that sounds like that. Realizing this, I knew I had also forgotten to give him the benefit of a doubt. So now, I'll try tonot assume the worst of what people do or say, but rather give them the benefit of a doubt. Then, if I want to, I can ask them to clarify what they mean, instead of getting all butthurt from their actions, which probably weren't meant to hurt me in the first place. Good idea, no?
*Not their real name
A few weeks ago, my friend Jay and I were chatting online. I had said something about him (I don't remember what by now) that was not meant to be offensive. However, before I had the chance to elaborate, he automatically said something along the lines of, "Really? Come on, I thought you'd know me better by now." At the time, I just scurried to clarify so as not to make him mad. The same exact thing happened about a week later. Then, it started occurring to me, "Really? Come on, I thought you'd know ME better by now." He keeps getting mad at me because he thinks I'm assuming the worst of him. But, it seems like HE's the one assuming the worst of ME.
Then, tonight, I was talking to Louie* online. I had told him that if I had had the choice back then, I probably would have chosen to not have liked him. He got all in a puff thinking I was saying he was a bad guy. When in reality, I only meant that it was a bad time for me to pursue him, seeing as he was dealing with other things. After clarifying, I jokingly typed, "jeez, Louie*, don't you know me better than that?" He apologized immediately, but it still kind of bugs me that he so easily thought I would "paint him in a bad light." I've always been a pretty good friend to him. How could he so easily think I'm such a bad friend? I was debating whether I should be openly angry with him about it. But something seemed wrong with doing that, so I decided to just sign off and take a shower.
While I was taking a shower, I thought it all through. Sure, it kind of hurt me to know that Louie could so easily see me as a bad friend. So could Jay. They automatically assumed the worst of what I was saying, they didn't give me the benefit of a doubt. However, after taking a step back, I realized that I could be doing the same thing they are, and assuming the worst of them. So I took a farther step back, and realized that Louie might not have been assuming the worst of me personally, but rather, it's just that he's had problems of people painting him in a bad light, so he's gotten sensitive to anything that sounds like that. Realizing this, I knew I had also forgotten to give him the benefit of a doubt. So now, I'll try tonot assume the worst of what people do or say, but rather give them the benefit of a doubt. Then, if I want to, I can ask them to clarify what they mean, instead of getting all butthurt from their actions, which probably weren't meant to hurt me in the first place. Good idea, no?
*Not their real name
Brain Fart 1: Scars of the Heart
Trying to figure out a few things. Imagine a person walking around with a scar. Going through life just staring at that scar. Complaining about it, whining about it, crying over it, even though the event and pain that caused the scar is already over. Silly, right? Well, imagine the same scenario, only the scar isn’t on his body, but on his heart. Isn’t that just as bad? Just as stupid? If a person walked around staring at their scar on their hand all day, wouldn’t they be in danger of walking into a wall, ending in another scar? It seems so obvious in that sort of scenario, but when it comes to scars of the heart, that end result is just as possible, even if not as obvious.
So many people walk around carrying scars on their hearts. Every person has scars. Every scar has a story behind it, along with pain. Both have gone by now. However, some people cannot let it go, refuse to let it go. Therefore, they go through life with their mind always on their scar. Every situation in life links back to that scar somehow. For me, my scar is of not being accepted, of being ignored, of being lonely. In my childhood, I had lousy friends. But now, those people are out of my life, and I have moved onto people who are my real friends. But, because of this scar, I was always afraid of it happening again. I stared at my past. Crying over it, complaining, whining. And because of that, because I refused to take my eyes off my scar, I ran into a wall. I was so paranoid of my past happening again, and I went to lengths to try and prevent. In trying to prevent it, I caused it. Once again, my friends weren’t so friendly anymore. And I gained a new scar. I want to blame it on the thing that caused my first scar, but that's a lie. That cause is gone now. The reason for my new scar is myself.
Louie* is like this, too, as I’m sure many others are. He says he got over his scars, as I claimed before, too. But he’s not. Instead of staring at his scar out of fear, he stares at his scar to say “you don’t hurt me anymore. In your face.” And yet, he still trips up. Because his focus is still surrounding his scar, everything he does still has to do with his scars. Proving everyone wrong, being “epic,” is all because of the scars his mom left him of a fear of failure. Believing himself to be a “great lover,” although never finding another girl, all because of losing Tessa*, and the scar that accompanied that.
I want to stop staring at my scars. Stop feeling pity for myself. Stop blaming Miley*, Mona*, etc for the problems with the friends I have now. Not trying to belittle the events and pains of the past, because those hurts are valid. But they are OF THE PAST. The problems that arise now have nothing to do with them. You can’t blame the cat that scratched you 5 years ago for the scratch you got from another cat that you stepped on. Therefore, my problems now are my own fault for tripping over my own feet as my eyes were not on the path ahead of me, but on my scars.
*Not their real name
So many people walk around carrying scars on their hearts. Every person has scars. Every scar has a story behind it, along with pain. Both have gone by now. However, some people cannot let it go, refuse to let it go. Therefore, they go through life with their mind always on their scar. Every situation in life links back to that scar somehow. For me, my scar is of not being accepted, of being ignored, of being lonely. In my childhood, I had lousy friends. But now, those people are out of my life, and I have moved onto people who are my real friends. But, because of this scar, I was always afraid of it happening again. I stared at my past. Crying over it, complaining, whining. And because of that, because I refused to take my eyes off my scar, I ran into a wall. I was so paranoid of my past happening again, and I went to lengths to try and prevent. In trying to prevent it, I caused it. Once again, my friends weren’t so friendly anymore. And I gained a new scar. I want to blame it on the thing that caused my first scar, but that's a lie. That cause is gone now. The reason for my new scar is myself.
Louie* is like this, too, as I’m sure many others are. He says he got over his scars, as I claimed before, too. But he’s not. Instead of staring at his scar out of fear, he stares at his scar to say “you don’t hurt me anymore. In your face.” And yet, he still trips up. Because his focus is still surrounding his scar, everything he does still has to do with his scars. Proving everyone wrong, being “epic,” is all because of the scars his mom left him of a fear of failure. Believing himself to be a “great lover,” although never finding another girl, all because of losing Tessa*, and the scar that accompanied that.
I want to stop staring at my scars. Stop feeling pity for myself. Stop blaming Miley*, Mona*, etc for the problems with the friends I have now. Not trying to belittle the events and pains of the past, because those hurts are valid. But they are OF THE PAST. The problems that arise now have nothing to do with them. You can’t blame the cat that scratched you 5 years ago for the scratch you got from another cat that you stepped on. Therefore, my problems now are my own fault for tripping over my own feet as my eyes were not on the path ahead of me, but on my scars.
*Not their real name
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