Brain Fart 29: The Rantings of a Bored Girl

I hate you. And you. And you.

This is what I get for sitting in bed all day, left with nothing but me, my thoughts, and Bones. I start to think about all the crap that's been going on recently, and everything just seems so much... stupider. Now, we all know that I don't actually mean "hate." These are just the rantings of the little girl in me.

Let's start with you. I hate you because, well, you broke up with me. You're the one who made the first move, and you're the one who lost interest. You're the one who told me from the very beginning that you wanted us to keep our friendship intact if things went bad, but you're the one who's pulling away, and can barely give the time to text me back for specific questions. You're the one who says you're okay, when I think we both know you're lying. What is this? You broke up with me, wanting things to be okay. I'm trying to make things okay between us, put things back to normal, so could you please try to cooperate with me? I'm TRYING to be friends, but you're making that reeeeaaaalllyyy difficult.

Okay, now you. I hate you because you're just difficult and complex, it just hurts my brain trying to figure you out. Sometimes you seem really cool, friendly, nice. Others, I wonder if you even like me as a person, or if you just find me annoying, or a nuisance. Then, there's the fact that I don't know if you know or not. It seems like you do, but at the same time, you might not. I'm trying to just create simple conversation with you, sometimes you respond animatedly, others you just give one worded answers until the moment you can declare "conversation is over." I have quite a few questions for you, but I don't know if I should ask them, how I would ask them, or if you would even respond to them.

You two are soooo frustrating, not only because you're you, but also because of how I react to you. I can't be really close to you, but I also feel like I just can't drop you two from my life. As much as I wish I could, as much as I want to.Maybe it's just because I hate giving up on friendships, but something about dropping you two as friends just seems wrong. So this just frustrates the crap out of me, and I feel like I'm becoming stupider trying to figure it out.

Then, last, but definitely not least, I hate you. I actually probably hate you most right now. I hate what you've become, what you've done with yourself, what you're doing now. I mean, WTF is wrong with you? Why did you do that? Why did you do all of those things? And what are you doing with yourself now? You need to get your act together, because I'm sick of it. First of all, CALM YOUR TITS. Second, stop being lazy. Get off your bum, and do something with yourself. And last, get over it. Now.

So, these messages all sound kind of severe, but it's really not that bad. Again, these are just the rantings of a bored, little girl.