Recently, I feel like things have just been going downhill for me. I thought summer was going to help me feel better, but in some ways, it's been making things worse. With not much to do, I've had too much time to just sit in the middle of some unwanted thoughts and feelings.
Even though summer and time have been working against me, at least my friends are still a source of happiness, right? Or...maybe not. Now, even some of my friends are making things hard on me. Things have just NOT been going my way, and it's making me go crazy!! I don't usually say this, but recently, I've just wanted to shout out, "I HATE PEOPLE!!!" (like someone else I know. =P)
Honestly, with all of the crap that's been going on, from people changing on me to being two-faced to being just plain inconsiderate and rude, I feel like I've lost a lot of faith in people in general. It makes me really sad and disappointed. I don't even know what to do anymore.
However, although I have lost faith in many, I have gained a LOT of faith in a few. And that's what keeps me going with a smile on my face. So, I would like to give a shout out to those who have helped me in this hard time, those who have built my trust and faith in them. Here's to you.
Jack-ee! Thank you for ALWAYS being there for me. You've been such a great source of unconditional support and love. You are my role-model as a loving Christian. I am glad that within this community where I have such low confidence and faith in the people within our community, I still have you. Also to "Daddy" and Day-nuhhh, this goes for you, too, when I say that you guys are the reason why I'm still around. You guys are there for me, the real me that no one else in our community knows. You guys see me not just as your sibling in Christ, but also as a friend, and that's how I see you, too. I love you guys =]
Herpes!!!! I don't even know where to begin. I'm so glad that we're friends. The friendships I've made in our group of friends, it all started with you. Same with dancing. I don't think I would have the social life I have now if it weren't for you. And you are the one I trust the most within our group. In fact, you may be the only one I have complete faith in. Others have either lost some of my trust, or we're just not as close as you and I. I tell you ALL of my crap, even the things that have happened before our friendship. And you are one of the very few who I believe I could tell literally everything about myself to, and you wouldn't love me any less. You don't know how rare it is for me to trust someone as much as I trust you. <3
Xan....oh Xan. My friend of how many years now? 8 years? 9?? We've been friends for so long, we've gone through most of middle school, all of high school, and all of our college careers thus far, together. I don't know if you know this, but you are the ONLY school-made friend to survive this long and this strongly in our friendship. No other friends made at school can compare to you. We understand each other so well, and I appreciate the friendship you've blessed me with more than you can imagine. You have never once made me lose confidence in myself, you've never made me feel bad about myself. In case you don't realize it, that's actually saying a LOT.
FamBam. That includes everyone that I live with. Mom, Dad, Rinds, Danika, Jill. I rooove you guys. In all of your own individual ways, you guys have given me support and love. You guys have been there for me my whole life, never once letting me down. Thanks, guys =]
Then, last but not least, God, Jesus, Holy Ghost. No matter where I am, what I'm doing, what I'm thinking, and whether it's good or bad, You're there for me. And You always will be. No one can beat that. And, no matter what people say about You or me, no one can take me away from my God.
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