If you have already heard my whole "ice skating' epiphany thang, then go ahead and ignore this blog. I'm just writing in case the I ever want to talk about this again with anyone else, although I don't think I will. But JUST IN CASE, cuz I don't want to have to type that whole thing out again!! lol so I'll write it here, and just send them the link. Anyways, yes. ice-skating. epiphany. thang.
Ice skating. My history with it is very limited. I've gone ice skating maybe 2 or 3 times in my life. Every time I've ice skated, I gained a little experience, but not much. Whenever I get on the ice, I'm always very cautious, because I've heard many times that if you fall, it will hurt alot ((lol sorry I couldn't help but think of ALOT monster from the Hyperbole and a Half blog hahahaha)). So, the few times I've been ice skating, I've aways been very cautious, always went slow, never did anything more than the very basic(I don't even really know how to stop, turn, whatever). Once, it seemed like I was getting better, so I started going faster. Then, some guy came up and got his skate tangled with mine. He came out okay, I fell on my butt. It wasn't a very bad fall, and it didn't even hurt that much. But it reminded me of the possible HUGE pain that I'd been warned about so many times. So I went back to being super cautious, and going really slowly.
Love life. My history with it is very limited. I've had one boyfriend, and "talked" to a few guys. Every time I've been involved with someone, I gained a little experience, but not much. Whenever I like someone, I'm always very cautious, because I've heard many times that it could end up hurting a lot. So, I always am very cautious with my feelings, always took things super slowly, was easy to back away from things, etc. Every once in a while, when things seem to be going okay with a guy, I drop my guard, and invest my feelings in him a little more. But then sometimes, something bad happens. The guy just isn't that interested in me, likes someone else, etc etc, blah blah, all the things i wrote about in that one blog hecka long ago. It doesn't break my heart or anything, but it reminds me of the possible heartbreak that could happen if I let myself really like someone. So I don't let myself openly it when I like someone, I try not to invest my feelings in anyone, I keep my guard up, and I'm super cautious.
But. If I never put myself out there, even with the risk of falling, even with the risk of being hurt, how will I ever learn? I just need to get out there, and realize that I will probably get hurt at least a few times. Sure, it'll hurt. A lot. I'll probably cry, a lot. But then, I'll survive, and move on to better things. But I won't ever learn if I don't even try.
This goes for ice skating. This goes for my love life. This goes for my whole life.
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As your mom, I say, "Go ice skating all you want, but no icky boys for you!"
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