Brain Fart 22: Games

I love games. Board games, video games, card games, weird Christian-made games, run-around-in-fields-like-fools games, all of them. However, there a certain kind of game that I have always hated. That would be the "relationship games". You know, like "hard to get," or "pretend to be into someone else to see if he will get jealous" types of games. I think those are pretty immature, and are disasters waiting to happen. Too bad I kind of play those games, too.

The game I play is "give them my attention then take it away." This is how it goes:
When I first become interested, I initiate IM conversations every chance I get. Then, after a while, I stop IMing them. After that, I leave it up to them to IM me. I do this to see if they care enough to notice that I'm gone, if I left a big enough impression on them to make them notice my absence.

Yeah, it's pretty immature. I hate that I play those childish games. However, I realize that I don't do that necessarily with just guys I'm interested in. I apply it to a lot of other friendships in my life. It's not really about the game to me. It's more like... making sure I'm not investing in a relationship that the other party is not also investing in. You see, as most of you probably know by now, I have some serious issues with insecurity. Due to past events, I have problems with trusting that people won't leave me, or "drop" me (referring back to the "Toy Story of my Life" blog).

So, through the game, I see who cared enough about me to notice when I stopped IMing them. And even more, I see who missed me enough to IM me first. I figure, if they care that much, then they are also investing in our relationship (or friendship), and that I can trust that they won't so easily let go of it. Unfortunately, it's not really all that efficient, and it doesn't always work.

But who cares? It's just a game.